I was officially baptized yesterday, May 16th, 2010 at Kurume Christ Church, in Tokyo, Japan. I don't believe that I wasn't saved before being baptized, but when your faith becomes real and tangible and touchable and you can feel God nudging you - then its time. Two other people were baptized with me; a young boy, Tomoyo-kun, and an older lady whose mother(in her 90s!) was recently baptized. I was very moved by their testimonies, which is partly why by the time I got up to speak I was overly emotional. Here's my own testimony, which I cried/talked through. It was translated(thank you Sanae!) so at least all Japanese speakers could understand what I was saying:
When I was a baby, my mom turned her face toward heaven and asked God to claim me as His own and watch over me always. She knew that as my parents on Earth, she and my dad needed the help of my heavenly Father to raise and protect me.
Since then, God has always held me close to him, even when I pushed myself away. He has protected me when I knowingly put myself in the face of danger. He has comforted me when I was terribly alone. He has healed me from my own destruction. And pursued me, even blessed me, after I cursed His name. No matter my actions, my heart has always belonged to God. Where I failed for His kingdom, He wastes nothing. He has been calling my name, calling me back to him, preparing me to be useful in his grace.
When I was a little girl I always chose God. It was easy to love Him and I felt his presence in my life. I always wanted to be two things: an actress and a missionary. I behaved well, I was a good student and I participated in church - singing in choir with my parents and teaching Sunday school. I did not worry about my relationship with God, but I did not want to get baptized. When I was 14 my faith was damaged by two of my four parents when they told me if I died tomorrow they did not know if I would go to heaven. They had become born again Christians and wanted my faith to be measured by the same experience they had had. As adults who had gone through life without God, they didn't understand my faithful heart who had grown with God. This put a hole in my heart. I became fearful that God would not save me. But I didn't know why. My trust was broken. I tried to ignore it.
When I went to college I lost control. I ran from God. I didn't want the responsibility of who He calls us to be and what that required me to do or not do. I wanted to behave badly. I did. But God had plans set for me even then. I met Aaron at this time. God brought us together from across a nation, through different colleges, different school years, and even though I was in a serious relationship with someone else. We were both Christians, but together we continued to run from God's calls to us. Then he gave us bobei. A call from God I could not ignore. I dropped out of school, we moved across the country, and I gave up my selfish life to live for someone else. We could do nothing but put our faith in God for our coming child. And for the next few years He drew us closer to Him through our beautiful daughter, His grace and blessings for following His word, through Aaron's parent's love for Christ and advice, and through attending a church where He is truly present.
Before we came to Japan we were on the brink of disaster. Aaron lost his job in the midst of the economic breakdown in America. I thought we would lose our apartment and be forced to move in with his parents or friends. I thought bobei would be unable to attend the preschool she loved. I thought I had given up all my dreams and now would go without basic needs as well. But God had not forgotten us. When we met we had a mutual love for Japan. We had always talked about moving there, but in our hardships and poverty had given up hope that it would ever happen. Before Aaron lost his job we had been praying that God would bring us to Japan. During the 8 months that followed Aaron losing his job we were completely provided for. bobei's preschool let us pay when we could. I was able to pick up extra hours at my part time job and sew headbands to sell there, and they sold well. More mothers and children came to my Storytime with Raquel performances at a friend's cafe- one time bringing in 76 dollars in one hour. With the help of unemployment, food stamps, and these extra opportunities, God provided for our needs completely. And then came the job opportunity at the Christian Academy and God's blessings upon us became inconceivable and miraculous in the way only He can arrange. The month we moved here was the month our unemployment checks would stop coming in America.
Since we have been here, God has been working on my heart. I finally understand now that His word and His love are all that matter in this world. He has revealed His love for me so greatly. That He would know my heart so intimately and bless me so personally out of all creation. He knows what is best for me and has been preparing me and my family for these miracles for many years. Now He is calling me to tell others about His love because it is all that matters. My baptism today is my public declaration- to you and to God. Thank you, Jesus, for saving and forgiving me over and over again. Please use me, Lord, to further your kingdom. I am ready. (at the end of this I read Psalm 139: 1- 18)
After the ceremony I was presented with a bilingual Bible - English and Japanese, its a beast! - and more flowers than I've ever received maybe in my whole life!! I was very overwhelmed by the love and support that was poured out on me by my friends and the people of my church. I had no idea people would come, let alone fill my arms with beautiful beautiful flowers, such a wonderful representation of God's work. And now they're all over our tiny apartment, reminding me I am loved. It feels wonderful.
bobei wasn't the only one who got a magazine/catalogue combo with a present feature. I picked up this(the last one at Libro!) for myself. I just LOVE the llama! The pages of this magazine are full of scrummy pictures and all kinds of recipes for outfits, how to wear clothes, etc. I was thinking I would use this bag for Japanese class. Soulemama implements a bag functioning family system that I would like to try. My other thought is that I want that llama on a pillow, on my couch, right now.
I'm trying to pull my brain together in preparation for Florida. We leave in ONE WEEK! 3 planes. Over 18 hours. And I think I seriously need a haircut.
Its also blogged about here, and you can see it in action above(along aforementioned river). I was trying to be a good mom and brought along some old bread and lettuce to feed ducks and koi with our friends but the bread ended up being hard as a rock and we couldn't find anyone to feed except ants!! bobei has come up with her own phrase, "double double" as being something really yummy to talk about, but here I think I will use it in my own way as this was a double double ARRGHH! But you gotta give me credit for trying.
bobei and I were able to attend a tea ceremony with friends last month. It was a wonderful experience, and helpful as it was in English(a little) and Japanese. It was held at a community center a few towns over. It was in traditional tatami room. We had to kneel, bow and then slide into it. This is proper tea ceremony etiquette. It is a practice from many years ago as you would not step on the lines of the tatami because the Samurai would hide blades in them! Ack! The room we were in was very bare and simple. Rooms for tea ceremony traditionally have a scroll, which you take time to admire, and a flower display, but not ikibana. The host of the tea ceremony explained to us that the flowers used for adorning a mantel for tea ceremony are picked from outside. The ones she used for the day had been picked from her yard-just wild violets and maybe some long clover, but so lovely. The hot water for the matcha was kept in a large iron kettle in a hole in the floor of this room. We were shown how to drink the tea; first tell the person next to you, "I'm sorry to go before you" in Japanese, then place the bowl on your left palm and lift with your right, turn the bowl 2 times, sip completely making noises to show your delight in the taste, turn the bowl 2 more times so the decoration of the pottery is facing you, take moments to study and admire the bowl, place the bowl back in front of you...something like that?!?! We were also given yummy yummy mochi wrapped in leaves(very difficult to eat politely because it stuck to the stick it was on, but oishiiii so!!). As you can see above, bobei loves matcha and so does her friend, Shuya!!! I was really happy to attend the ceremony but I was surprised as we shared introductions after partaking to find out it was my friend's first tea ceremony(she is Japanese) experience and also the first for some very very old Japanese people there! I was so surprised!! I feel so grateful to have so much access to Japanese culture even though it is not my native culture. I really hope to continue to pursue these kinds of experiences with our family and with friends here creating bonds. The truth is I don't know if or when we will leave Japan, but I want to soak up every matcha-filled minute I can.
This blog has become a perfect representation of my life right now. Everything is getting completely beyond my reach and I feel like I'm running to catch up to events that have already passed. To top it off, this morning I deleted a bunch of beautiful pictures from that camera of me and bobei having a good time together. In true Charlie Brown style, "ARGGGH!" The weather has finally perked up and along with it our allergies. Which means I'll probably give myself an eye infection in a few days from rubbing my germy fingers all over them. This morning we visited bobei's school for a visitation and watched them color butterflies. Thrilling 4 year old parent stuff(please read both sarcastically and sincerely because that is how I feel all at once). This morning's walk was the magnificent balance of our niche of Tokyo - Rufus Wainwright, maturing ducklings on the river, koi swimming upstream, emerald necked pigeons, the miniest dogs out for walks, and uniformed children on the way to school. With everything going on here I can barely grasp that we'll be on a plane in 13 days. I'd better catch up so I don't miss it.
